Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
