Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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