Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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