found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
