Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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