Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
