i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
