Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
