I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
