she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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