This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize