Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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