with your own penis?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
