i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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