I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
if you like me you must not know who I am
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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