how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
