i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
