The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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