So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize