i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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