So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
