If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
