That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
