If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
