ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
