This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize