for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
