12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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