Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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