did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
