i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
