Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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