Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
