Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i think im in europe. pls send help
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
