I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
