Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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