he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
