i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize
