where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
