He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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