i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
