yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Drake has all the answers
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
