on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just high enough for therapy.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
