we made out on top of his cat.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
