omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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