Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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