Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
