Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
