you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
