Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
