Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
