the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
