It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize