You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just invented taco cereal.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
