Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
