If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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