How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He told me they were just razor bumps!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize