is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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